Bad times

So, for the last two weeks I haven't trained at all. I somehow was infected with the flu, and ended up with a wicked cold sore, so that made grappling impossible (yes I came to class two weeks straight, ill, but I was not contiguous at that time). It's 6:30am, just about, and in 2 hours I'm supposed to be taking part in a seminar with a world ranked martial arts champion, a woman who is considered the greatest in the world. Sadly, due to my fucked up sleep schedule, I won't be able to make it (and even if I had, the cold sore stops me from being able to roll). Normally I wouldn't worry about being sick, but I have not eaten at all for the last two weeks which actually is pretty scary. I have over trained myself to the degree that my muscles just tear apart, and die on me, so the lack of stable nutrition is bad.

Honestly I'm pretty pissed at myself for being sick. Not many people joined this seminar, and I wanted to make an appearance and let people know I respected the martial art we are all apart of, but sadly I can't. It's frustrating, essentially since the first seminar I ever attended, back in 2008, changed my life. On that day I decided to devout myself to learning the skills that are the form the basis for Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and I also experienced first hand how the knowledge alone can be twisted, and a simple mistake and lead to darkness. I was hoping that this seminar, merged with my current choice of using only technique when I train, would lead to a breakthrough. Now I will have to wait, and possibly never have this chance again (though I can always facilitate it myself, since I plan on going to Brazil after graduation for a vacation anyways).

Since starting back up with training in October I have hit over 15 classes, which I feel is pretty successful. I am not losing weight but I am gaining muscle, which is nice. Aside from coming down with this flu, and suffering from a simple dislocation of my left elbow, I'm doing pretty good. I can't wait for Monday.